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The Iron Dynasty, DeLaRose Role Play Group » OOC Talk » Discussions » Rants » The 'Friend Zone' is Based On Inadequacy

The 'Friend Zone' is Based On Inadequacy

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1 The 'Friend Zone' is Based On Inadequacy on Sat Mar 28 2015, 16:02

Far too often I'm stuck hearing people going on about the 'friend zone'... that only good guys get stuck in the friend zone... that and ugly females... But what about the good girls? where was it I read a quote about a man standing before a woman whom he could love-... whilst she was standing next to a woman he could make love to? Temptation at its finest... That even the best of us choose the worst things for us because are all too often concentrated on the outer expressions of people as a whole rather than what is on the inside...

And no, I'm not just talking about your race, or your sexuality... i'm talking GENERAL APPEARANCE as a WHOLE... The good girls are often seen as pretty, popular-... generally blonde and well groomed, fit with legs up to 'here'... a fashionable style, in the upper class society... A girl we consider going places... HELL even below that, guys wanting gamer girls aren't going to look at what is typical. Heaven forbid a woman will ever play a video game in what she considers comfortable... After all, when a girl like myself is home, and playing a video game she sits with no bra, in comfortable baggy clothing, or a tank top... Sweatpants, or yoga pants. Hair down, make-up off and generally fairly frumpy looking... It is rare that a girl even at her most comfortable will entertain without attempting to clean herself up a little bit.

And I'm not a MAN but I'm certain the same applies to them. Social backwards stigma really squashing your success with what you enjoy because of what is viewed as acceptable... After all, the classic wish for a woman is that her male counterpart will be fit, intellectual, funny, understanding, thoughtful, assertive and fashion forward. You won't find a woman actively proclaiming, "Hey I like rib stained shirts and sagging pot bellies. Come get me" often.

But you see-... this is the problem.. Men and women are not satisfied. Men want women who are down to earth and easy going, while still looking attractive to the set status quo... where women are wanting a male who is mentally capable to her own level, as well as meeting her physical demands when it comes to appearance. We are groomed from a young age to see what is considered 'desireable' in the opposite (or same) sex. Taking from disney, women are expected to be petite, flowing haired, doe eyed beauties who do as asked without a thought otherwise. While men are supposed to be fresh faced, and dashing... instinct guiding them to find their match without question. Brave and resourceful... How exactly are you supposed to tell your mother you've found your damsel when she's not exactly to what people view as perfect?

Its this very thought process that leads to the friend zone. Fear of inadequacy and a high set standard for what is considered desirable. Women want to find a man who totes a six pack set of abs and a PhD, those men are looking for women who carry their ideal outer physique and a sweet demeanour to boot... This leads to women who feel inadequate in comparison to these women, who are in turn shunning to boys who are flaunting after them but don't meet that EXACT perfection... those boys grow upset that they are not enough for these women and turn to other women on tips to find those they want... In turn the females left in the dust turn for companionship and expose levels of themselves to a guy who will listen for more insight on how to please his object of affections... (or vice versa) She who is seeking that companionship sets her eyes on the intellectual equal that understands her, only from seeking to fulfill his own priorities. Who to love more than someone who knows you better than anyone else? That male now takes the information he now knows and applies it to pursuing his mate... But here is where this plan falls short... By applying this information which was gained by that anomaly of friendship, the object of affection looks as a friend rather than the intended... and thusly the friend zone is born...

All set because of peoples set nature to always seek out the creme de la crop...

And you know-... it probably makes LESS sense in pixels than it does in my head... But in short, the friend zone exists because people are never happy with what they've got and always seek that set perfection... Its the quirks that form relationships. Quirks matching up enough to create a bond through decided neutrality...

But there are people left in this perpetual friend zone for the-... dumbest of reasons. and its time to set our sights on them for a minute... these people are stuck in the friend zone and have gotten bitter. Be that the girls who just don't hold that 'much-ness' or the perpetual 'good guys'. Like it or not, bitterness evolves. And its that bitter that keeps you there. whether its OBVIOUS anger, or simple mistrust in your own flaws that make you who you are. When a woman doesn't give thier heart to someone because of fear, its not because you are not good enough... nor is it because of thier own personal collective fears about themselves. Its because they are SO SICK of being fucked over by that one person who is always seeking something better, when perfection is staring them in the face. And they are scared to leave lest they lose that progress and when thy choose to find happiness, that choice will realize what was lost.

The friend-zone is full of people who view themselves as flawed because they don't match what everyone expects them too and feel they will never be enough because they aren't GOOD enough as who they lost to.

when someone is stuck in the friendzone, or claims to be stuck in the friendzone-... turn around. Look the person in the eye who has sat through it all... The one whose vulnerabilities you pick at, to collect your prize... Life is not a fair through of holey toothed carnies. You can shoot the ball at the hoop 1000 times and miss while trying to reach that one toy that everyone craves... Or you can look at the person cheering you on and realize you don't need that prize or the promises related to it to be happy...

I guess I'm only just realizing it now, that if i want to be happy, I need to decide that my happiness is worth more to me than a cheap toy that's going to tear and leave me disappointed for the effort... Damn... Took me long enough.


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this is so insightful and deep, i know what it is inside and i know this comes from your heart and holds meaning, know i am with ya and i find you flawless in every sense i always have hun. you are beautiful it be the truth.

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@Anaya wrote:

I'm glad you think so. I think you're beautiful as well.
Maybe its true what they say, that the most beautiful blooms are ones that shine on in the face of adversity.


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I just want someone i know has my back against all odds no matter what. Male or female alike. I want a good heart, their gender is irrelevant.

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